“The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today… The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.” — Seneca
This weekend, amidst the sunshine of San Diego, I watched my grandson Kainalu celebrate his first birthday. Four generations gathered around a small boy with cake-smeared fingers and wide, curious eyes.
My father and mother—his great-grandparents—were there, their hands weathered by decades yet still strong enough to hold him. I found myself transported to a memory of my own childhood: my great-grandmother, small and fragile, making homemade tortillas in the kitchen corner while family celebrations swirled around her.
The juxtaposition struck me. That memory, so vivid in my mind, is connected to today by nothing more than the thin thread of time—a thread that seems to grow shorter with each passing year.
As entrepreneurs and builders, we often fall into what the Stoics would call the “expectancy trap.” We defer life while we build our empires. We tell ourselves: After this launch. After this milestone. After we hit this revenue target. Then I’ll be present. Then I’ll celebrate. Then I’ll slow down.
But Marcus Aurelius reminds us: “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”
The business will always demand more. Another quarter will always approach. Another competitor will always emerge. These cycles are endless. Your time with those you love is not.
Consider this: In building a business that supports your life, have you inadvertently built a life that merely supports your business?
The ancient practice of memento mori—remembering you will die—isn’t meant to induce fear but to clarify priorities. When you consider your finite time, the unimportant falls away. The urgent gives way to the essential.
Your business exists to serve your life, not the other way around. This doesn’t mean neglecting your work or abandoning ambition. Rather, it means understanding the proper order of things.
Three practices to consider:
1. Create untouchable time. Block days on your calendar that cannot be moved—not for clients, not for emergencies, not for opportunities. These are for family celebrations, quiet reflection, or simply being present with those you love. Guard these boundaries fiercely.
2. Build presence rituals. When transitioning from work to family time, create a small ritual that signals to your mind that you’re shifting focus. Perhaps it’s changing clothes, taking a short walk, or simply closing your eyes and taking three deep breaths. This mental reset helps you be fully where you are.
3. Document ordinary moments. The small interactions—your child’s laughter, your parent’s stories, your partner’s gestures—these are what you’ll hunger for when they’re gone. Write them down. Not as social media content, but as private treasures. The business metrics will take care of themselves in your records; these moments won’t unless you preserve them.
When my great-grandmother made those tortillas, I doubt she was thinking about creating a memory that would last generations. She was simply doing what she had always done, with the people she loved nearby. There’s profound wisdom in that simplicity.
Your business may outlive you or it may not. The products you create will eventually become obsolete. The problems you solve today will be replaced by new challenges tomorrow. But the moments you share with loved ones become part of who they are—and who you are. These ripple forward in ways no business ever could.
Build your business. Pursue your vision. Create value in the world. But remember that the spreadsheets won’t remember who sat beside them, and the strategic plans won’t recall the hands that crafted them.
Your grandchildren will.
Today’s challenge: Schedule one completely untouchable day this month dedicated solely to family. No email checks. No quick calls. Just presence. See how it changes not just your perspective on family, but on your work as well.